Behind These Hazel Eyes
by Kailee
Summary: Remus reminisces about his school years and after. Severus shows up on his doorstep, having been found out as a spy and traitor. What happens next? [pastSBRL][implied preSSRL][no HBP]


**Behind These Hazel Eyes**

**By: Kailee**

Seems like just yesterday  
You were part of me 

Remus sat on the edge of his double-bed, staring at the picture he held in his hands. It was one that had been taken, oh so many years ago – the same year he graduated Hogwarts. Doing some quick mathematics (and thanking the Ministry for requiring that anyone who worked at Hogwarts needed a basic grip of both muggle and magical subjects), he worked put that it had been nearly twenty years since the photo had come to rest on his bedside table.

He sighed, and lay back on the bed. The worn-out and ratty duvet was scratching slightly at his skin, but this went unnoticed as it had for many years. Instead, Remus kept focussing his entire conscious on the wizarding photo, his eyes tearing up as he regarded himself and the photo's other occupant, laughing and smiling like the best of friends.

Indeed, they _had _been the best of friends; but they had also been lovers. Sirius had been his friend, lover, confidante, teddy bear, 'partner-in-crime' and fellow Marauder. The photo Remus was clutching in a death grip was one from their final few days at Hogwarts; they had just pulled their final prank on the nasty Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who seemed to have had a personal vendetta against Magical Creatures, especially Remus.

Realising that he was almost tearing through the photo, Remus sniffed and let it go. It fluttered down to rest against his heart; precisely where Sirius would always be… whether Remus liked it or not. The truth was, he and Sirius had never recovered the love they had had before Sirius, James and Lily had turned their backs on Remus, believing him to be the traitor on false information from Peter… no, not Peter. Peter was the kind boy with mousy features and an inferiority complex whom he had shared a dorm with at Hogwarts. Wormtail – there, that was the one who had betrayed Remus.

Peter would never have done such a thing. Wormtail, on the other hand… Peter had never really been the same after getting lost that one time in his Animagus form. He had claimed to have been fine, but Remus had suspected even then that Something had happened to their friend. He had been right, too – that had been the night that Peter was finally lost to them, having met Voldemort and formed a deal with him.

Remus recalled how close he and Sirius had been before the Abandoning, as Remus had termed it. It physically hurt to try and remember that feeling; he hadn't ever felt anything like it, and never had again. It had almost felt like Sirius was a part of him, a vital part. Laughing hollowly in his mind, Remus now knew that Sirius indeed had been a part of him; the part that had kept Remus sane._  
_

I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong

When Remus had been with Sirius, he had felt so strong, so warm and so loved. Now, there was nothing where his heart should be. Small parts of Remus had died when James and Lily had formally renounced their decision to have Remus as a godfather to Harry, but a huge part had deserted him when Sirius, his one true friend and love, had given his the cold shoulder.

_Flashback_

"I'm sorry, Remus. You just… aren't who I thought you were," Sirius told him calmly, almost unemotionally. Remus fell to his knees, tears springing to his eyes as he felt himself go cold. How could Sirius do this! Especially in front of Snape; the greasy-haired boy would never let the werewolf live this down.

Hearing Sirius' footsteps retreat, Remus began to rock himself backwards and forwards, trying to get some warmth back into his limbs. He could hear Snivellus laughing at him, and shuddered. Why, why, why, why today? Remus had been just about to give Sirius his birthday present when his love had told him that they 'needed to talk'.

Remus had instantly had a flash of foreboding run through him; nobody liked that phrase, and everybody knew precisely what it meant when one partner in a relationship says it to the other. Thus, Remus had followed Sirius into this private (or so he had thought) corner of the Entrance Hall at Hogwarts. And there, Sirius had made a short speech as to how Peter had told them that Remus was a spy for Voldemort, Peter had told them not to trust Remus ('because he is a werewolf, after all'), Peter, Peter, Peter!

Remus screamed, uncaring of who might be watching or listening. He could tell that his transformation in less than a week's time would be the most painful one of his life; his werewolf half would be tearing at himself in an effort to get his animal friends to come and help him.

But James, Sirius and that betraying rat, Peter, wouldn't be coming. Remus' screams turned into howls as he let his werewolf side take part control of him. He began to scratch at his arms, half-heartedly at first, then with more vigour. Just before he passed out, he felt warm arms wrap themselves around him.

_End flashback_

Those warm arms had turned out to belong to Alice Longbottom, or Alice Goldenice as she had been called before her marriage to Frank Longbottom. She knew everything about him, from the way he had killed his father and mother when he had first transformed into a werewolf, to the fact that he had been working up the courage to go into Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley and buy Sirius an engagement ring.

She had held him for a few minutes there, Remus later found out, taking a complete survey of his small cuts made by sharp nails. She had taken him up to the Gryffindor girls' dorms (the only way to get up there was to be carried up by a resident of the dorm), laid him on her bed and healed him. She had let him sleep there, even.

And eventually, Remus had begun to heal, emotionally and physically. When James and Lily's baby boy, Harry James, had been born, Remus had not been invited to the naming ceremony. But that hadn't bothered him; he had just watched from afar, then re-watched it in Albus' pensieve.

The old man had, of course, known that Remus was most definitely _not _a Death Eater. Nor had the werewolf ever been one, or even entertained the notion of becoming one; he had been a true son of the Light. But nothing the Headmaster could do or say would change James, Lily and Sirius' minds about Remus' loyalties.

He had never even gotten to say goodbye.

Fresh tears ran down Remus' face as this knowledge came back to him. It was true, he hadn't gotten to say goodbye to two of the people he had loved most in the world. Dumbledore hadn't even had the nerve to inform Remus of their deaths himself; Remus had had to find out from the _Daily Prophet_, of all places!_  
_

Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right 

Remus cast himself back, right back to the beginning of his and Sirius' relationship. It had all been an accident, as most good things are. He and Sirius had been reading together in the common room, late one night in their fourth year. James and Peter had gone to the library to research something for their (partnered) assignment in Potions; Remus and Sirius had finished theirs the night before.

As far as Remus could piece it together, they had fallen asleep pretty much around the same time. In the morning, they had been woken up by the thundering noises made by their dorm-mates coming down the steps. James and Peter were laughing at the position the two boys were in.

They had been spooning, much to their horror; their unruly (and just beginning to show up) teenage hormones had instantly betrayed them. Remus, who had been trapped in front of Sirius, had felt something pressing into his lower back. He rolled over, facing Sirius. James, Peter and Frank (the fifth Gryffindor boy) had snuck out of the common room.

_Flashback_

"Are you embarrassed?" Remus asked, grinning at Sirius as their erections brushed together. Sirius gasped, his pupils dilating slightly.

"A… a little. You?" Sirius choked out, pushing closer to Remus. Never mind the fact th they were only fourteen – they both knew a great deal about they ways of the world.

"Ohhh… not really," Remus replied, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. He pillowed his head on his arm, and smiled at Sirius.

"Not really?" Sirius grinned.

"Not really," he confirmed. Later, it was determined that they both had made the first move, though both had a suspicion that it was the couch that had moved and pushed them together – after all, who knew with magical furniture?

All Sirius and Remus knew was that there was a very warm, very willing body pressed against their own, and a pair of very warm, very willing lips demanding attention. Running his tongue gently over Remus' upper lip, then lower one, Sirius politely asked for entrance in the most basic way.

Breathless all of a sudden, Remus' mouth had opened for Sirius, and the not-quite-yet-Animagus had pushed into Remus' mouth, claiming the werewolf. Of course, the werewolf in Remus hadn't liked this whole submissive thing one little bit (even though Remus did), and so fought back using his own tongue.

_End flashback_

Remus was horrified, much like he had been all those years ago. But now, the reason he was horrified was not because of his arousal (because he wasn't aroused right now), no… it was because tears had once again sprung to his eyes in mourning for the love he had lost.Stubbornly, they refused to fall._  
_

Unbreakable

Like nothing could go wrong

Over the next few years, everything had just… fallen into place for Remus. His summers were spent with James and Sirius at the Potter estate (Sirius was living with James by now, having been kicked out of Grimmauld Place in London), and Christmas was spent at the Castle or on vacation with Dumbledore, who had taken up the official role of Remus' legal guardian.

His wavering love for Sirius had cemented into real, honest-to-goodness, full-blown (including the arguments that went with it) love. As mentioned, they had had their share of arguments – one or two lasting nearly a month. One had lasted more than a month, of course, that one being the time that Sirius had goaded Snape into coming down the passage to the Shrieking Shack when Remus had just transformed, sometime in their fifth year.

That had, possibly, been up in the Top Ten Worst Times in Remus Jay Lupin's Life. Probably around number three… number one being when the other Marauders had abandoned him, and number two being when he had killed his parents. Number four was the already described break-up with Sirius.

During their sixth year, James, Sirius and Peter had surprised him with their plan to become Animagi. Remus had protested this plan at first, telling them that it took i _years /i _to train to change into an animal, and even more years of research.

Of course, what he hadn't taken into account was the fact that James and Sirius had been working on this plan since their second year, when they had finally seen through all of the pathetic excuses and visits to the Hospital Wing, put two and two together and had come up with four. In other words, since they had found out Remus was a werewolf.

Imagine Remus' surprise when all three of them, even Peter, had transformed into animals right in front of his eyes! He had admired James' form, a large stag (typical James), had laughed at Sirius when the giant black dog had appeared where his lover had stood (with a name like Sirius Black, how could he not be a black dog?) and had thoughtfully begun to connect the pieces with Peter's form, the balding rat (Remus took that as a sign that Peter would lose his hair early)._  
_

Now I can't breathe  
No I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on

Remus hadn't slept in days. Since Sirius'… since his… his… fuck! It was still so hard to say, a month after the event. He had cried himself to sleep for the first three weeks, then dried his tears and sold Grimmauld Place to Narcissa Malfoy (who knew why _she _wanted it).

After that, it seemed as though he couldn't get the tears to start again, no matter what he tried. Even Dumbledore dropping around to tell him that Harry would be coming to stay at Hogwarts sometime in the next week due to his neglect at the Dursleys (gee, how unpredictable), and that Remus could come and visit any time he wanted, hadn't been enough to incite him to tears.

Though it had been close. Hearing that he had free visiting rights with Harry, even after it having been so long since James and Lily had forbidden him from having just that, had almost pushed him over the edge. Almost, but not quite.

Remus had contemplated suicide, more than once. It would have just been a short trip to either the bathroom or to the kitchen, but his legs seemingly didn't want to take that walk. Some small, minor part of his mind kept screaming at him that he still had Harry to live for.

But did he? Hell, Remus knew that Harry was falling apart right now. Sirius' thing, the Dursleys' neglect, Hermione and Ron not being allowed to send him mail and keep him informed of what's been happening, his miserably failed relationship with that girl… what was her name? Chacha Ching, or something. The Ravenclaw.

Harry's sanity was hanging by a thread, and Remus knew it. He knew, because his own was in the same situation. Another part of Remus' mind was telling him that if he let go now, and went to join his friends (because all was forgiven after death, right?) then Harry could soon be along to join them.

Would that be so bad? Voldemort couldn't affect them in death, and no-one and nothing in life really mattered when you were dead.

Would it be so bad?

Here I am  
Once again  
I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it  
Can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up 

Deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes  


While thinking these depressing and deeply philosophical thoughts, Remus was astounded to find that two crystalline tears had begun to slip down his cheeks. Were they tears for Harry, or for himself? Maybe they were just tears without a purpose.

Sighing, Remus returned to a thought that he had had while on his little 'would it be so bad' line of thought. Was everything forgiven in death? The hurt that Remus had been done by Sirius was grave; the fact that Sirius had apologised to Remus when the man had gotten out of Azkaban three years ago had meant almost nothing to the hazel-eyed werewolf.

Remembering that he was lying down on the bed, Remus curled up into a small ball. The position seemed to help to comfort him a little, and he closed his eyes. Maybe if he actually slept tonight, these disturbing thoughts would go away and he'd be left in peace again to mourn the loss of Sirius.

_  
_I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in

Just like he had with Alice, Remus told Sirius everything about him. From his first memory (a family party in the backyard of a huge house, and being stranded in a sea of legs) to his first crush (a boy in Ravenclaw, in their second year) to the way he had felt after discovering himself lying in the middle of a blood-spattered room, the cold, dead bodies of his parents prone on either side of him.

After his parents' death, he had been shunted around to various magical (and even one muggle, though that hadn't lasted too long) families that were somehow related to him. When there was no-one in his family left to take care of him, Remus had officially been made a ward of the courts.

Spending three years in a foster home for unwanted magical children, Remus hadn't grown close to anybody, preferring to close himself off from human contact and do his own thing. That was, of course, until he had received his Hogwarts letter at the age of ten, a year younger than he should have been.

Professor Dumbledore had been very kind about Remus'… ahem… condition, and had had no qualms about the boy starting Hogwarts when the time arrived. Of course, Dumbledore had told the woman who 'took care' of Remus, he may have to wait for just a few months more while I make some special arrangements for his needs on the full moon.

'Would that be acceptable to you?' he had asked. Remus snorted at the memory in the middle of his sobs and yawns. The Headmaster had then added that 'I would be glad to become young Remus' guardian, should no-one else wish to gain custody of him when he begins Hogwarts.'

You made me feel alright  
For once in my life

The old man had helped to make Remus' dreams come true; he had given him a home that he hadn't had since he was a little boy of five, and had given him the love that he had desperately needed. Finally, the fateful day had arrived. Remus smiled slightly in remembrance. He hadn't had to catch the train or cross the lake with the other first years. He had joined them in the Great Hall, coming down from the teachers table where he usually sat to take his place with his soon-to-be year mates.

The rest, as they say, was history. Five boys and two girls had been sorted into Gryffindor (the smallest class in years, or so they were told) and they had formed an instant friendship. James Potter. Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew. Remus Lupin. Frank Longbottom. Lily Evans. Alice Goldenice. They were described in the yearbook as the closest, most open-minded bunch of students Hogwarts had seen in a century (open-minded when excluding slimy Slytherins named Severus Snape, of course).

The following seven years – with the exception of summer holidays when Remus was left alone in the castle – were the best of his life. Remus excelled in his classes, even Potions; which was almost unheard of for a Gryffindor. In his third year, a new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor was brought in – Professor Mathise.

Mathise (pronounced Mah-tees, as he liked to remind the class) was horrible in every way. Remus had suspected even then that the professor was into the Dark Arts, from the first moment that he had laid eyes on the man. It didn't help that Mathise had a pronounced dislike for 'Dark' Creatures and had no qualms about declaring it to the world. Constantly in his classes, they were subjected to monotonous lectures about the 'ugliness', 'evilness' and 'all-around disgusting feeling' that so-called Dark Creatures gave off.

Sirius, James and the other Gryffindors that knew Remus' secret had shown their unwavering loyalty to their friend during this time. The young werewolf could often be found during the two years that Mathise taught at Hogwarts, crying in the bathroom and being held by one of his friends. Mathise was fired at the end of the Marauders' fourth year after being exposed as a child abuser.

Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be

But now, everything was different. Peter had gone dark, and become the rat that his Animagus form told them he would be. James and Lily were gone, taken from Remus in the primes of their lives. Sirius was gone, and his death was still too painful to think about. Frank and Alice were in St Mungo's.

Suddenly, there was a knock on Remus' door. The werewolf jumped in surprise, but slid off the bed and went to open it. Remus stared in shock at the person standing in the door-frame, tears staining their face and blood everywhere.

Severus Snape had no idea why he had gone to Remus Lupin, of all people, for help. When he had been summoned to Voldemort's side three hours earlier, Severus had had no idea that he had finally been exposed as the traitor he was. Needless to say, the Dark Lord was not impressed with the Potions Master, and had no qualms about showing his anger.

Both Severus and Remus, that night, had discovered what it meant to wish you were dead. Remus realised, as he was cleaning Severus' wounds, that here was someone he could open up to, someone that would understand._  
_

So together but so broken up inside  
Cause I can't breathe

When Severus was finally blood-free and calm, lying on the bed that Remus had been occupying, Remus pondered what to say. "Severus," he haltingly began. "Why did you come to me for help?"

Severus stared at the werewolf. "Since when is that any of your business?" he snapped. Remus sat down at the end of the bed, Severus' feet next to him. The Potions Master leant against the bed-head so he could see his companion.

"Since you showed up on my doorstep, drenched in your own blood and tears," Remus retorted quietly.

"I was _not_ crying," Severus defended himself. Remus sighed.

"You were," he nodded. "And don't try to tell me again that you weren't. I know what I saw."

"Maybe you need to have your vision checked. I'm sure we could find you a nice pair of thick lenses so you could look like the brat you seem to be so fond of," Severus looked away from Remus, towards the window. It was a lovely day, seemingly mocking the two of them.

No I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on  


"Severus," Remus truly didn't know where to begin. "What happened?" He settled for. Severus' face went blank.

"It's none of your business," he repeated, with more force than was needed. Moving jerkily, he swung his legs over Remus' lap and onto the floor, trying to stand up. He fell back onto the bed with a soft cry, teeth clenching in an unsuccessful attempt to not show weakness.

"When I said earlier that you won't be able to walk for about a week, I was serious," Remus shook his head. "Do you actually think you can be tortured as you were – and don't try to deny it – and be physically fine in a couple of hours?" Remus asked.

Severus looked defeated before his mask fell back into place. "I have been before," he pointed out stiffly, motioning for Remus to help him move his legs back onto the bed. Remus was relieved that the other man no longer wanted to go anywhere – the werewolf doubted Severus would even make it to the front door without collapsing from pain.

"That was when you had an expert Medi-Witch attending to you," Remus pursed his lips. "I'm no expert."

"_That_ is obvious," Severus sighed. Remus felt something inside of him snap.

"Well sorry, Mr. I-Must-Atone-For-My-Sins-In-The-Most-Painful-Way-Possible," Remus' eyes narrowed. "I'm just _trying_ to help you! Is that a crime, now? Oh wait, I suppose it is. Albus has tried countless times to get you to open up to him, and all he gets in return is a cold shoulder!" Remus was practically yelling.

"I don't need anyone's help!" Severus exclaimed. "I'm fine on my own!"

"Bullshit," snapped Remus. "You're falling apart, and you don't seem to care. Have you even seen how people look at you recently? The Order?" he asked.

"Pah! I don't need their pity!" Severus folded his arms across his chest, wincing slightly as he almost ripped open the bandages wrapped tightly around his midsection.

"It's not pity, you thick-headed idiot! It's a desire to help, to understand!" Remus growled. "I want to help you – I want to understand you!"

"No one can ever understand me, because no one has ever been through what I have!" The Potions Master's mask fell aside, finally, revealing the anger he was feeling. Remus, surprisingly, also saw insecurity and loneliness chasing across Severus' features.

"If you would just. Tell. Me. Then maybe I. Would. Know!" Remus punctuated each phrase with leaning forward a little more, towards Severus.

"I am not in the mood for telling stories!"

"Maybe you should be," Remus rolled his eyes. How could one man be such a stubborn, icy prick? "How can you even sleep at night, knowing what you put others through on a daily basis?"

"How can _you _sleep at night, knowing there is so much hurt and injustice in the world. Super Werewolf to the rescue!" Severus said in a sarcastic tone. Remus recoiled as if slapped.

"At least I try, Severus, at least I try," he said softly.

"I'm not deaf, werewolf, you don't need to repeat yourself."

Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you I blame myself  


"Do you know why we picked on you so much in school?" Remus asked suddenly. Severus looked at him warily.

"Why?" he asked, confused by the sudden change of topic.

"It may sound childish, but it was because you started it," Remus sighed. "You tripped Peter up in the corridor on the Express. Do you remember?"

Severus frowned. "I do," he muttered. "It was an accident, I assure you."

"Whether it was an accident or not, it caused Peter to go running to James and Sirius for help… and me, by extension. I just happened to be sharing a carriage with Sirius and James when Peter came in, breathless, nose bleeding, and told the two of them what happened."

"And then what? The four of you swore a vow to torment Snivellus until the day the last of you died?" Severus sneered.

"Sirius and James almost did, I think," Remus smiled, remembering. Severus was struck by how many years dropped from his schoolmate's face when he smiled, and wondered if he himself would look younger if he had something nice to think about.

"And you?" Severus persisted.

"Me? I couldn't care less, really. I never actually liked Peter, you know. I didn't talk to him unless it was necessary – I was never partnered with him in assignments – he was the first one I suspected as a traitor, even before I suspected you," Remus sighed.

"I'm touched," Severus said sarcastically. "So that was why you never made to stop Potter and Black. You didn't care enough," he surmised.

"I never stopped Sirius and James, because I felt I had no right to."

"No right?" Severus frowned. Remus looked away. "What do you mean?" Severus insisted on knowing.

"It's stupid, really," he shrugged. "Nothing of importance now."

"But it must have been important back then," Severus persevered. "Why did you feel like you had no right to tell them to stop? You were a prefect, after all."

"It's stupid," Remus repeated hesitantly. Severus glared at him, and he gave in. "James and Sirius only let me into their group, I felt, because I could help them with their grades and getting good marks. I wanted to stay in their good graces so I didn't become a social outcast like –" Remus said this quickly, but stopped before he got himself into trouble with the listener.

"Like me," Severus finished. Remus gave him an apologetic look, and nodded. "You're right, it _is_ a stupid reason. But at least you didn't think it was because you were a werewolf, and they pureblood humans." But Remus didn't meet his eyes. "That's stupid as well. But Gryffindors are stupid by nature, I suppose."

"And Slytherins are deceitful, lying bastards who couldn't give a damn about spying on people during their private moments?" Remus shot back, suddenly remembering Severus laughing at him when he and Sirius broke up.

"That just about covers it," Severus agreed.

Seeing you it kills me now  
No I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore, anymore

Severus regarded Remus as the werewolf slept in the chair beside the bed, ready to help Severus if need be. Severus had never had anyone keep vigil beside him before, except perhaps Albus once or twice after particularly horrendous Death Eater meetings.

The werewolf had left him alone after Severus had stated that he himself was tired, two or three hours before. Remus had retrieved a book from the only other room in the rundown cottage (aside from the bathroom), and had sat by Severus' bedside until he had fallen asleep.

Severus wondered why Remus had revealed so much that night. Much of what they had spoken about – somewhat civilly, surprisingly – had been of a personal nature, opinions and observations, even emotions. Severus had discovered that the Potter brat was coming to visit in a few days, and resolved to be out of Remus' hair by then so that the werewolf could have some alone time with the Boy Who Lived.

He remembered, as Remus did, the day that Black had broken up with the werewolf. He remembered laughing… but not at Remus. Never at Remus – the poor man had enough on his shoulders, and Severus knew that although he wasn't a Death Eater as the other Marauders suspected, he was coming dangerously close to abandoning the Light.

Instead, he had laughed at Black. There was spite in his laughter, for Severus was thinking how could a person so perfect as Remus love a person so… well, tainted and black… as Black? In school, Severus had held a kind of hero worship for Remus after discovering the boy's secret. Who else did he know that shouldered a burden like Remus' and was not insane?

But the hero worship had turned to dislike – not hate, not yet – when Remus had refused to acknowledge him, instead revealing his relationship with Sirius to the world in sixth year. Severus had then gone to Voldemort, sure that Remus had taken the same path (dating a Black, he was sure to have become a Death Eater – the entire family were on the border of becoming Death Eaters).

But instead, Remus had joined the Order of the Phoenix… who were now Severus' sworn enemies. That was when the dislike had turned to hate, and a fervent desire to torture the werewolf and hurt him as much as he had hurt Severus by spurning his attempts at friendship.

Many years had passed since then. Severus had turned spy on Voldemort after witnessing him kill a group of twenty young children below the age of seven, laughing in delight all the while. Joining the Order, he had made sure to keep out of the way of the Marauders. He neglected to tell them that Pettigrew was a Death Eater out of pure spite, and a need to see his tormentors hurt.

More years flew by, and Severus found himself teaching at Hogwarts alongside Remus. Searching out the feelings of hate that he had hidden for so long, Severus was horrified to find that he had never hated Remus, only those he had associated with. In fact, some seeds of worship were still lying dormant within him, just waiting to be fanned into life again.

Remus stirred on the chair, and Severus quickly averted his eyes. Remus' own hazel eyes opened slowly, not registering where he was or why he was sleeping on a chair in such an uncomfortable position. "Severus?" he murmured groggily as his eyes focussed on the Potions Master.

Severus glanced back at the sleep-mussed Gryffindor. "Remus," he acknowledged.

"I'm surprised you didn't up and leave while I was asleep," the werewolf admitted, clearing his throat a few times. Severus shrugged.

"I tried, but I found I couldn't get up. Someone was in my way," he said loftily. Remus smiled, eyes slipping closed once more. "Are you still tired?" Severus asked him. Remus nodded, squinting at Severus in an effort to stay awake. "How long has it been since you last slept?"

"A few days," the werewolf admitted. Severus decided that, since he could no longer spy for Dumbledore among the Death Eaters, now was as good a time as any to build a new life and try out a new attitude.

"The bed's big enough for two," he said softly, sounding far too vulnerable for his own liking. Remus' eyes widened, and his mouth fell open a short way.

"Are you saying…?" he trailed off.

"It would be more comfortable for you to sleep in the bed, and as you know, I cannot move," Severus reminded him, his voice losing the vulnerability ('_Thank Merlin_'). Remus stood and moved to the other side of the large bed. He glanced uncertainly at Severus.

"Are you sure?" he queried.

"Quite," Severus replied stiffly.

"Thank you, Severus," Remus smiled again as he slipped underneath the covers. There was still a good bit of room between the two of them, but Severus couldn't help but move as far away from the bed's other occupant as the bed would allow.

Remus also couldn't help but stick to his own side, which was unusual for him. He usually sprawled over the entire bed, sometimes looking as though he'd been shot. But he was no longer used to sharing the space with someone.

"Severus, I'm not sure if this was such a good idea," Remus admitted half an hour later, when both men were aching from holding their bodies in one position, as far from the other as possible. The werewolf began to rise from the bed, but Severus, wincing slightly, reached out and placed a hand on his arm.

"Please?" he whispered, again realising that he sounded vulnerable, and hating himself for it. Remus stared at him in wonder, as though witnessing a miraculous phenomenon. Severus looked away from him, dropping his hand. "Never mind," he croaked.

Surprisingly, seconds later, Severus felt the bed dip again as Remus lay back down. Feeling something soft along his side, Severus rolled over to look at what it was. Remus smiled sheepishly at him over a barricade of pillows. "Spare pillows, from the couch," he explained. "This way, I won't accidentally hit you during the night and hurt you."

Severus resisted the urge to smile. Remus had, once more, proved his Piscean-typical personality correct. It was amazing how much Remus was similar to what the Astrology books say he should be like, Severus considered as he made himself comfortable. Movements from the other side of the pillow-wall told him that Remus was moving around as well.

"I hope you don't snore," Severus muttered as he succumbed to the call of sleep. Remus was stunned for the second time that hour. Did _Severus Snape_ just crack a joke?

--

'Behind These Hazel Eyes' is a Kelly Clarkson song :D, one of my favourites.

I didn't even realise it, but Remus really _is_ just like a Pisces. My book says Pisceans are: trusting, helpful, creative, gentle, understanding, self-pitying, dependent, insecure, often putting blame on themselves and gullible. :O

And Severus, who is a Capricorn, is: organised, ambitious, hardworking, concerned, respectful of authority, critical, miserly, anxious, controlling and a perfectionist. Ringing any bells? Wonder who else is astrology-typical?


End file.
